In a rural village on the outskirts of Kigali, 35-year-old Claudine Uwimana sits quietly outside her home, her eyes heavy with unspoken pain. She is a mother of four daughters, and for that, she says, she has paid the price of silent rejection from her husband’s family.
“They don’t say it openly,” Claudine begins, “but every time there is a family meeting, I feel the judgment. My in-laws look at me as if I failed. As if giving birth to girls only makes me less of a woman.”
Claudine’s story is not unique.
Across parts of Rwanda, especially in rural communities, a dangerous narrative persists that a woman’s value in the home depends on her ability to balance the sexes of her children. If she gives birth to only boys or only girls, some believe she has failed her family. In extreme cases, women are excluded from decision-making, inheritance discussions, and even emotionally abandoned by their spouses.
One man interviewed in the course of this investigation was blunt.
“A woman who only gives birth to girls should not even call herself a wife,” he said. “How will she continue our family name?”
Such comments are not only harmful but biologically unfounded.
Dr. Diomede NTASUMBUMUYANGE is the Head of the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department, explains: “It is the man’s sperm that determines the sex of the baby. Women have no control over it. Yet they are blamed, shamed, and even emotionally abused for something that’s scientifically beyond them.”
The silence around this issue keeps it alive. Women like Claudine continue to suffer in isolation, fearing to speak up or demand respect for fear of being labeled as rebellious or disrespectful to tradition.
Through field visits, anonymous interviews, and consultations with gender experts, her investigation unearthed a common pattern: women are often blamed not only for the sex of the children they bear, but their perceived “failure” can influence their social standing, access to economic resources, and role in family decisions.
“My neighbor was denied a piece of land by her husband’s family,” one woman in Gasabo district shared, “because she had only daughters. They said, ‘Why give land to someone whose children will leave the family anyway?’”
Gender rights advocates say this is a direct violation of Rwanda’s commitments to gender equality under both national laws and international agreements.
“This belief is a form of psychological gender-based violence,” says Nadine Umutoni Gatsinzi, Gender Monitoring Office from the National Child Development Agency (NCDA). “It reduces a woman’s worth to her reproductive outcome and reinforces deep structural inequalities.”
Gender equality plays a crucial role in a country’s development, and Rwanda stands as a powerful example of its impact. With women holding 63.8% of seats in the Chamber of Deputies, the highest rate of female parliamentary representation in the world, Rwanda has demonstrated how inclusive governance can shape effective policies that benefit entire communities. Studies show that when women are equally involved in decision-making, nations experience faster economic growth, improved health and education outcomes, and greater social stability. Moreover, with women making up 58.6% of Rwanda’s healthcare civil service and 88.9% of gender equality legal frameworks in place, the country continues to prioritize inclusive development that empowers both men and women to contribute fully to national progress.